Miss Her (Human!Kankri x Reader Sadstuck)

Continuing to pack your suitcase, you look up when the doorbell rings. Going to answer it, you open the painted wood to be met with Kankri's serene, faintly smiling face. "(f/n)! How are you?"

"I'm, uh, fine," you answer, furrowing your eyebrows as to why he's here. "But, Kankri, calling ahead or something might have been nice..." You don't mention that seeing him unexpectedly is making your heart race as you taste iron, blood from chewing on the inside of your mouth. The way you have been for days and weeks and months.

"Is something going on?" He cocks his head to the side slightly, ruffled black hair falling just in front of his eyes. "Normally, you would be thrilled to see me, or at least let me in. Did I unintentionally offend you? I hope not..."

You shake your head no immediately. "No, it's nothing like that. It's just... I'm almost finished packing," you explain.

Kankri's eyes widen as though he's been slapped in the face. "Packing?" He gets out. "Packing for what, if I may be so bold to ask?" You can practically hear the thoughts running through his head. Oh, thank god, she's finally leaving. Unless it's only a camping trip. I hope not.

"I'm leaving," you sigh, looking back inside for a moment before returning your gaze to him. His face looks remarkably expressionless. "I'm nineteen, Kankri. I don't know what I'm going to do with my life yet, but I'm going." With that, you gently close the door. You didn't tell anyone, not even your parents; easier not to make the goodbyes, to deal with the accusations over text where you can't see people's faces.

You didn't count on your crush coming to see you before you left.

***

Reader: ==> Be Kankri.

You stare numbly at the door, hand raised as if to knock again, beg her to come back. She can't just be... leaving. Abandoning you with no warning. Today was supposed to be a happy day, a good day, the day you told her you reciprocate her feelings...

But clearly, you judged her wrong. She's not in love with you, stupid Kankri, how could anyone as wonderful as her love someone as horrible as you? That's what you get for judging people. A shattered heart, because she's leaving and you don't know if she'll come back and you can't stop her.

Taking stumbling steps back, you manage to turn yourself around at the sidewalk and get home, four blocks down and three to the left. You sink into your comfy chair at your desk, typically used only for writing, and allow sobs to rack your body. Maybe you deserve the absence for thinking something so dumb.

But at the moment, all you want to do is cry. So you do, thinking of all the times that should have been. You miss her already, and she's not even left yet; she's not dead, she's oh so alive, but you're afraid she'll meet someone. Any chance you might have had, completely gone.